Let Me Upsell You......

I went to the dentist yesterday for my deep scaling. My how times have changed. I have been going to my dentist for the last 17 years. I have watched him move from having one storefront office in Chimney Hill to several offices in the Hampton Roads area. God is good. When I got there yesterday I was tired as hell. All I wanted to do was lay back in the dentist chair and let them have their way with my mouth(that sounded sooooo pornographic). They take me in the back and my hygienist is this chick named Rosa* with a Spanish accent. As she is scaling my teeth she starts this sales presentation on teeth whiting. No, really. She gives me cost, types available and payment options. When did up selling dental services become apart of the program? All I wanted to do was get my teeth scaled so they don't fall out from gum disease or something horrible like that. If I wanted my teeth bleached today I would have totally signed up for it...mkay? While all the talk of bleaching was going on, the dentist noticed (thank God someone was paying attention to the important stuff) that they left #15** off my treatment plan, which happened to be the biggest cavity I have. Like root canal big. Of course this changes the ENTIRE finance picture that I had initially. You know what was really annoying as hell, Rosa was in the background, talking about, "Add the bleaching up there too so she can see what it would be like!" Hoe sit down. I DON'T WANT ANY DAMN BLEACHING!!!!! The finance lady comes back to the chair and she starts giving me some astronomical price. For one damn filling??? One filling? No ma'am I need to see the math behind that! So we go back to her office, and mind you, my whole left side of my mouth has been Novicained so I look and sound WAY touchdown. She starts doing all this talk about deductibles and limits etc. All I want her to do is explain to me how it cost $200 for a filling. Are you all filling it with platinum? Will it jump out of my mouth and do dishes? In the end her ass was confusing her self and I figured it out myself. What a waste of time. But I am happy I got my deep scaling done. My mouth was sore last night but my gums felt good this morning. The moral of this story is to go to your dental visits every six months like you should(Rev and Boogie) or this could be you. Except my mom won't be saying, "Serves you right." Gotta love her! Be Blessed!

*Not her real name
** I have no idea what that means, but they kept saying it to me like I knew what that meant.