......You are not the Father!

Well, I know it's been a long time since I have posted, but here I am! Well let's just get to the point. About two weeks ago I was offered a killer job at a local insurance agency. I would be making more than I make at the hospital. Well, there was one hitch in all of this. A hair analysis drug screen. Why is that a problem? Well, about 50 days ago I was a ragin' pothead. Well, 50 days wasn't long enough because they called me this morning to inform me I failed that test with flying colors. I can apply in a year, but I am sure they will remember this little incident so I won't be asked back. See how drugs can ruin your life? When people think of drugs ruining your life you often think of someone ending up homeless on the street, or selling themselves or wordly posessions for their next hit. Well your life can be ruined in other ways. Like this. Because of this indiscrection, I will be resigned to working this bullshit job for the duration. I cannot believe this shit....Lord I stretch my hands to thee......

Dope Fiends....

Well, Good Morning World! I am going to acutually start doing some work around here. I just discovered (through my fight club) that there is a productivity report for this new fangled system. So appearing busy(shuffling papers, staring intently at the computer screen) will not cut it anymore.

On Wenesday my favorite movie of all time came on t.v. What's that you might ask? Jungle muthafluckin Fever. I don't watch that movie for the social commentary on interracial dating AT ALL. As far as I am concerned some black men, white girls can have. But anyhow, I love this movie for two reasons. 1) The Good Reverand Doctor 2) My man Gator. The Good Reverand Doctor speaks in straight scripture ALL the time. I always wanted to marry a man like that. Can you imagine?
Me: "Baby are we gonna hunch tonight?"
The Good Reverend Doctor: "Lord, I stretch holy hands to thee.."
I just love Gator because, yes America, I am intriuged by the antics of dope fiends. Here are just some of the things that I have noticed.

1) When there are two dope fiends on Cops...isnt it odd that the two people never look like they run in the same circle. For instance, there was an old black lady and a white girl my age getting arrested. Of course they both claimed the crack pipe belonged to the other one, and the older black lady claimed she was riding with her because she was concerned about the white girl's baby, who might I mention did not have on a diaper. Then shennanigans insued about the white girl walking up and down the street all night and smoking dope. Too funny

2) Often times they ask for odd amounts of money. For instance, my aunt Mary will ask for $1.67. A $1.67?? Why not $2.00? You can tell someone is straight scrapin up change.

That's all I can type right now....I need to go back to the business of being productive. Well, thats all for now!

*To any dope fiends I have offended.....I got love for yah!*

I'm Gonna Make you Love Me

Good Morning Winners!

I got a call yesterday from Farm Fresh about some part-time employment. Alright! If it is in God's will I know I will get it. A sister needs some extra loot for real.

I talked to my sister yesterday about the craziness that is my parents. She helped me realize that I am way to involved in the inner workings of the dysfunction which is called their marriage. My dad came home on Sunday all proud of himself that he bought some new eyeglasses. He proudly announced he paid all of 168 dollars for these fly glasses. The problem? He has insurance, and if he had gone to an optometrist that took his insurance, then it would have only cost him a whopping 30 dollars. Well, my mother the insurance guru, frowned upon this, and who else does she unload this on? Me. Granted it was a waste of money, I have to look at her and ask, "Are you really surprised by this behavior, which is just one repeat of many incidents like this in your marriage?" I guess what I am trying to say is I am tired of people telling me the same problem over and over, and me giving the same advice over and over. After awhile you either deal with it or just continue on the hamster wheel. I love helping people but afterwhile it becomes redundant listening to the same shizz over and over. Well, I am getting ready to partake in some free food courtesy of the anesthesia department!

Work Folks.....

Good Morning!

I am taking my time to write this before my third co-worker gets here. Why am I doing it before she gets here? Because this blog is about her. God knows I love all people but she is the most irritating person ever. When me and my other co-worker are talking she is ALWAYS butting in. She is always in my computer screen. For instance, I was applying for another job(I gotta get the hell up out of here.....) and this broad is like, "What are you applying for?" and I am looking at her like, "Hoe sit down." I swear she is like the Federales. If someone is late for something she just HAS to tell the manager. When it was just me and my stickgirl we looked out for each other. If she was late and the supervisor called up and asked where she was I would just say she's downstairs(God forgive me) because we just looked out for each other. But this broad is trying to be dayum employee of the month. I'm going to have to watch her.....

Well, last night I went to a revival with my Pastor friend. It was held at Little Piney Grove Baptist Church in Creeds. The revivalist was Pastor C. LaRue. The scripture came out of the Book of Matthews and the topic was "What are you Afraid Of?" Well, ya'll it seems that I am afraid of the present. That means I have laid all my plans just right and I am a afraid something catastrophic will come along and ruin everything. As, I sat there last night I realized that my fear of the present is what has kept me from leaving my parents house. When I moved back in it was supposed to be for just one year, but now one year has turned into two. And why? Because I am afraid that if I try to get back out there on my own I will fail. If I fail this time it will be even more detrimental because it will just be me and my daughter and I don't want to be solely responsible for our failure. I just pray that I grow stronger to step out on faith and do what it is that God has planned.

As for me and Pastor, we have been getting along GRAND. I never thought I would be involved with anyone decent never mind a preacher. He makes me feel like there is hope for all women that have been through the multitudes of losers. After my first date with him, I realized in all my 25 years of living, I had never been on a REAL date. Most of my dates up until this point have consisted of the following:

1. Hanging out with him and his boys partaking in herbal substances
2. Hanging out with him partaking in herbal substances
3. Going to Dinner on my dime

Dayum it feels good to be treated like a lady! I feel like Mary after she met her husband. It sounds corny but I may have found one of the last good, black, straight men on earth. There are plenty out there, it's just I think we as women today are conditioned to call the good ones corny and the ones that dress nice and treat yah like shizz the Bomb. Well I am here to tell you, if he has ugly shoes, we can get him new ones, if his teeth are crooked, we'll find an orthodontist, but there isn't anything you can do for a man with an ugly heart.

I feel about 10 pounds heavier

Lord have mercy.....I am actually doing some work today. I had to be in at 7:00 today so I may be getting something accomplished.


I had a very interesting weekend. Be careful about what your children are learning at daycare. While giving Gabby a bath she began to sing:
(To the tune of Fere Jaques)
Pizza Hut, Pizza Hut
Burger King, Burger King
Kentucky Fried Chicken, Kentucky Fried Chicken,
Taco Bell, Taco Bell

That is a shame.....an anthem to childhood obesity. Jesus wept.

I am in the process of updating this site...prettier background and more pictures. I know ya'll wanna know what I look like. Well, I am off to work! I will update on the office shennanigans.

Work,Work,Work

Well, actually I am writing about the lack of it that I am doing. I have a tendency to not do a dayum thing at all on Friday's except coast. I just wanted to give a list of things I have actually accomplished today:

1. I got my free credit report online from Transunion

2. Signed up for CareOne credit counseling(the bad credit has gone on long enough, people!)

3. Ordered Chinese Food....on someone else's dime

4. Read all the blogs in my favorites box

You know what's bad....none of this has anything to do with scheduling anybody for anything. But what can I say....it's Friday!

**I know I haven't posted in never, but that all has changed...."My life starts today!"

Hello World!

Hello World!

Well, I have decied to take my little myspace show to the big time. A real blog!

There will be laughter and tears....and ramblings about my *sigh* life. I will post more later!